At about 10 o'clock Tuesday, November 22nd I received a shocking and upsetting phone call from a dear friend of mine. Her father had died suddenly just that morning. Devastating news. There had been no warning signs. Just gone. Our families had been friends for 20 years. I met this friend when I was 3 years old. We both started attending the same church the very same Sunday. Since then, we've had countless sleepovers growing up. I used to get dropped off at her house before school every morning so I could catch the bus with her to a school out of my district. Sleepovers often entailed playing hide-and-go-seek with our older sisters who were good friends too, and playing board games and card games with her parents. Regardless of whether company was over or not, their family always sat down to do family devotions after dinner. When I heard the news I wanted to be there, so my sister, niece, and I drove up through the States the next morning.
Even in times of crisis, there is opportunity to learn new things. Amidst the devastation and pain, I do believe that God is still present and active. So, here are a few things that I took note of this week or that made an impact on me:
Even in times of crisis, there is opportunity to learn new things. Amidst the devastation and pain, I do believe that God is still present and active. So, here are a few things that I took note of this week or that made an impact on me:
- Being a grown up means acting like one when it's hard. I've been feeling so grown up lately driving my own car, but when it really counts is when you have to drive that car through high winds and torrential downpour in the dark by yourself when the tears in your eyes are blurring your vision just as much as is the pouring rain.
- God will give the the appropriate strength at the appropriate time. During that drive, I was praying for God to just get me to London where I could be with my sister and we could drive together from there on. I really felt like giving up, but God got me there safe and sound even though I could hardly see. I am also terrified of bridges but I was given the strength at just the right time to drive over a total of 4 bridges throughout the trip, including the Mackinac Bridge, which is the third longest suspension bridge in the world.
- A hug is worth more than almost anything. My friend and I texted eachother many, many times between the time she first called and the time we arrived up north. She told me she just couldn't wait for a hug from me. I felt the same way. Hugs are simple gestures and yet they are so profound. The first hug I gave her was at the private visitation at the funeral home. Many more hugs followed. Clinging hugs. Emotional hugs. Hugs of sorrow. Hugs of friendship.
- God can use even modern technology to speak to us. On the first night we arrived I couldn't sleep. I was trying to read the Bible and pray. I found Lamentations 3:22-33 and I read it over and over again. While checking my phone, I noticed my Bible app's daily verse, Matthew 5:4, right there on my screen: "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted."
- Prayer is powerful. When my friend first called me, I really had no words to say to her. I prayed with her on the phone. I prayed throughout the day. I had my family and friends and church praying. We prayed for peace, comfort, grace, strength...and I believe God listened to our prayers.
- Saying "I love you" is of the utmost importance. At the memorial service, my friend's Mom was able to share a beautiful, moving speech about her beloved husband of 33 years. Her last line recounted the last words her husband said to her. Thankfully, they were "I love you." How many times do we head out the door for work or school feeling frustrated, bitter, annoyed, distracted? It's not trite or sappy to say "I love you" to your loved ones every day. Wouldn't you want those to be your last words?
- Travelling with a baby makes things longer but it also makes things more lively. Whenever my baby niece would wimper, we would try to console her. At one point during our journey, this meant singing non-stop for about an hour. We sang Christmas songs. We sang worship songs. We sang old Sunday School songs we hadn't sung in probably over a decade. We sang campfire songs. Singing also does the heart good. It was a good time with my favourite sister, a time of relief and joy, in the midst of turmoil.
- It's never too late for reconciliation. For those of you who know my past, there has been a certain relationship that I have desired to be resolved for four years now. Without sharing all the details, I can say with joy that a long overdue conversation brought peace to my heart, closure to that part of my life, the lifting of a 4-year-long burden, and - I know for sure - was pleasing to the Lord. I know this because He calls us to be peacemakers, as in Romans 12:18: "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." I read this entire passage right before the conversation and my best friend prayed with me. I felt like this was the right time to talk...and it was. It could not have gone better. Praise the Lord! He is Healer, Redeemer, Restorer, Saviour.
