Reading is Like Oxygen

Reading is...
I wasn't sure how to finish that sentence because there are so many words to describe the value of reading good books. So I typed "reading is" into Google and "reading is like oxygen" came up. That's a good way to put it. Hence the title of this blog.

With 2011 coming to a close, here are some excellent books I've read this year:

• Christian Theology by Millard J. Erickson: My favourite read, by far. This book is a few inches thick, brimming with sound doctrines that have helped me understand what I believe and why I believe it. It has also caused me to question many things, but my foundation is now solid enough that my inquiries cannot rock my faith.

• What Colour Is Your Parachute? by Richard N. Bolles (2011 Edition): I'm currently reading this best-seller, recommended to me by my big brother. So far, the thing that has impacted me the most is found in chapter 11. There is a "prioritizing grid" exercise to figure out which of the nine listed values grips me the most - the values that I most want to invest my life in, and thus pursue a career in. My top three are: 1) The Human Spirit (you want more faith, love for God, and forgiveness in the world) 2) Heart (you want there to be more love and compassion present because you were here), and 3) Will/Conscience (you want more morality, justice, and honesty to be your major concern).
• Our Witchdoctors Are Too Weak by Davey and Marie Jank: Missionary stories are the most inspiring and invigorating books for me to read. This is the true tale of missionaries to the Wilo people in the Amazon. It took 10 years to learn their complicated language and animistic culture enough to begin translate the Bible and teaching them the Good News. But it was so worth it!
• Crazy Love by Francis Chan: Another bestseller. I'm kind of surprised it is, though, because of how incredibly honest, convicting, challenging, and difficult it is to read...this book contains some hard-hitting truth, straight from God's Word. Read it if you dare.
• The Black Stallion by Walter Farley: A classic children's favourite. Not necessarily my favourite book of the year, but more a matter of who I read it with. This summer I worked at a non-profit childcare centre. I was asked to plan and lead the Jr. High Summer Program. I loved it! And one of the best times of the day was reading to them after lunch. My mom recommended this, and I assumed my kids would think it was too much like school. They did complain a bit at first, but my mom was right! She chose The Black Stallion, knowing the girls would like the horse and the boys would like the adventure. The kids were always asking for "just one more chapter!" and whenever I glanced up from the pages, they were always staring at me attentively, eyes wide open and alert.

I already have a stack of new books to read in 2012 including The Peacemaker by Ken Sande, Trust by Lydia Brownback, and several by John Piper.

Lessons During Crisis

At about 10 o'clock Tuesday, November 22nd I received a shocking and upsetting phone call from a dear friend of mine. Her father had died suddenly just that morning. Devastating news. There had been no warning signs. Just gone. Our families had been friends for 20 years. I met this friend when I was 3 years old. We both started attending the same church the very same Sunday. Since then, we've had countless sleepovers growing up. I used to get dropped off at her house before school every morning so I could catch the bus with her to a school out of my district. Sleepovers often entailed playing hide-and-go-seek with our older sisters who were good friends too, and playing board games and card games with her parents. Regardless of whether company was over or not, their family always sat down to do family devotions after dinner. When I heard the news I wanted to be there, so my sister, niece, and I drove up through the States the next morning.

Even in times of crisis, there is opportunity to learn new things. Amidst the devastation and pain, I do believe that God is still present and active. So, here are a few things that I took note of this week or that made an impact on me:

• Being a grown up means acting like one when it's hard. I've been feeling so grown up lately driving my own car, but when it really counts is when you have to drive that car through high winds and torrential downpour in the dark by yourself when the tears in your eyes are blurring your vision just as much as is the pouring rain.
• God will give the the appropriate strength at the appropriate time. During that drive, I was praying for God to just get me to London where I could be with my sister and we could drive together from there on. I really felt like giving up, but God got me there safe and sound even though I could hardly see. I am also terrified of bridges but I was given the strength at just the right time to drive over a total of 4 bridges throughout the trip, including the Mackinac Bridge, which is the third longest suspension bridge in the world.
• A hug is worth more than almost anything. My friend and I texted eachother many, many times between the time she first called and the time we arrived up north. She told me she just couldn't wait for a hug from me. I felt the same way. Hugs are simple gestures and yet they are so profound. The first hug I gave her was at the private visitation at the funeral home. Many more hugs followed. Clinging hugs. Emotional hugs. Hugs of sorrow. Hugs of friendship.
• God can use even modern technology to speak to us. On the first night we arrived I couldn't sleep. I was trying to read the Bible and pray. I found Lamentations 3:22-33 and I read it over and over again. While checking my phone, I noticed my Bible app's daily verse, Matthew 5:4, right there on my screen: "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted."
• Prayer is powerful. When my friend first called me, I really had no words to say to her. I prayed with her on the phone. I prayed throughout the day. I had my family and friends and church praying. We prayed for peace, comfort, grace, strength...and I believe God listened to our prayers.
• Saying "I love you" is of the utmost importance. At the memorial service, my friend's Mom was able to share a beautiful, moving speech about her beloved husband of 33 years. Her last line recounted the last words her husband said to her. Thankfully, they were "I love you." How many times do we head out the door for work or school feeling frustrated, bitter, annoyed, distracted? It's not trite or sappy to say "I love you" to your loved ones every day. Wouldn't you want those to be your last words?
• Travelling with a baby makes things longer but it also makes things more lively. Whenever my baby niece would wimper, we would try to console her. At one point during our journey, this meant singing non-stop for about an hour. We sang Christmas songs. We sang worship songs. We sang old Sunday School songs we hadn't sung in probably over a decade. We sang campfire songs. Singing also does the heart good. It was a good time with my favourite sister, a time of relief and joy, in the midst of turmoil.
• It's never too late for reconciliation. For those of you who know my past, there has been a certain relationship that I have desired to be resolved for four years now. Without sharing all the details, I can say with joy that a long overdue conversation brought peace to my heart, closure to that part of my life, the lifting of a 4-year-long burden, and - I know for sure - was pleasing to the Lord. I know this because He calls us to be peacemakers, as in Romans 12:18: "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." I read this entire passage right before the conversation and my best friend prayed with me. I felt like this was the right time to talk...and it was. It could not have gone better. Praise the Lord! He is Healer, Redeemer, Restorer, Saviour.

There are probably a host of other lessons I learned throughout the week. But I will leave it at this list for now. To the family who lost someone so dear, my heart, mind, and body ache with sorrow for your loss. The memorial service was truly God-honouring. What a legacy he left behind to his children, grandchildren, relatives, friends, and church family. He served wholeheartedly right to the end, even at church the Sunday right before he died. He will be missed by us, but we can have comfort with the knowledge that he is now in heaven with his Saviour. As the pastor at the memorial service said, he does not long to be back here with us - because being in heaven with God is our ultimate destination - but he does desire that we will one day be there with him.

"What is an Abortion?"

"What is an abortion?" One of my eleven-year-old boys at work asked me this loaded question today. We had been playing an energetic game in the gymnasium with a super bouncy rubber ball. Someone came into the gym to take over for me while I took my break. I came back a half hour later to find my kids sitting on chairs and on the hard floor all talking together. We got into some pretty serious stuff, like drugs and alcohol. I do not bring up these topics but they were all talking about the kids in high school who do those things and relatives they know who are smokers or drink a lot. One of my eleven-year-old girls - who is fairly mature for her age - mentioned that she knows what rape is and has heard about abortion. Gulp. I didn't want to say too much. That's for their parents to talk to them about. Then out of the blue, from across the gym where he had begun bouncing the rubber ball again, one of the boys called out, "What is an abortion? I've heard that word before but I don't know what it means."

You want to know what an abortion is? I just wrote a twenty-page paper on abortion for a seminary course called Moral Theology. The title was, "Is Abortion Ever Justifiable?" I wasn't quite sure what to tell this group of youth who were all looking at me expectantly. So I decided to tell them the truth. Now, I don't want to lose my job or have parents getting angry at me, but the kid asked a question and it's kind of common and legal in Canada so I told them. These children are always telling me about graphic murders they've seen on TV shows, explicit dancing they've watched on YouTube, and violent games they've played on gaming stations. But, to my relief, they were absolutely shocked at what I told them. And I was not graphic at all; I told them very briefly and matter-of-factly what an abortion is so that I don't get in trouble. I told them that when a woman or girl gets pregnant and does not want to keep the baby, she can go to a clinic and pay to have them kill the child. They were horrified. While they may not be innocent in some ways, their dumbfounded expressions told me that they still hold some innocence as children in this century. They just could not fathom a woman deliberately ending her own child's life. So naturally, they asked, "How?" And I said there are a variety of ways. I told them I just wrote an essay about it and I had seen some extremely upsetting photos in books and websites. I said two common ways are sucking/vaccuming the baby out or burning them. Well, they could just not believe that anyone would do that to their own child. And that's all I said. The horrific reality of it was enough.

The girl who had earlier mentioned rape declared that even if she were ever raped she would keep the baby. She said that it doesn't matter how the baby got there because if it is inside of her, it is her own child and she wouldn't give it up for anything. Amen. That was pretty much the thesis of my paper. She went on to say that she'd heard you're not allowed to have an abortion in Canada unless you had been raped. I informed her that, sadly, that is not the case. Any girl or woman can have an abortion at a clinic. In fact, virtually all abortions are simply cases of "inconvenience" and not cases of rape, a deformed child, or the mother's health at risk. I found this website very helpful in my research: http://www.abort73.com/abortion/.

I would have loved to tell them what God thinks about the matter - that he created their inmost being and knit them together in their mother's womb. That they are made fearfully and wonderfully (Psalm 139:13-18). That regardless of how they were conceived they are precious in his sight and loved so much that the God of creation would send his only Son from heaven to earth to die a horrible, shameful death in order to save them from their sin so that they could have a fulfilling relationship with their Creator and spend eternity with their Saviour.



A Tiny Taste of Heaven

This holiday weekend (Civic Holiday 2011) has been an incredible one, although the word "incredible" can't really do it justice. On Friday evening I picked up my best friend at the VIA Rail station. She'd come to visit me for the weekend. I'd planned a bunch of fun things to do, one of which was go for a long bike ride along the St. Lawrence River. So Saturday morning we put on our workout clothes (but foolishly, no sunscreen) and grabbed a backpack filled with water and snacks and set off. The bike ride was just lovely. It was a hot day but there was a glorious breeze along the river that provided the relief we needed. Along the way we passed many other people enjoying the great ourdoors - walking, biking, fishing, and roller blading. We also met some creatures in their natural habitat, including a snake, a groundhog, a beaver, and a turtle with a slug and a snail stuck on his back. At one point, we meandered off the paved path, set our bikes down, and cooled our feed in the flowing water. Later on that day we drove to a nearby beach and played in the fairly warm water. With it being the long weekend, the beach was packed with families. It was good to see people sharing life together and taking a break from the daily grind. I am so very grateful for holidays when we can relax, rejuvenate, and relish the time we have with loved ones.

On Sunday we planned on going to the Ottawa Busker Festival. We decided to go to a large AGC church in Ottawa called The Met (Metropolitan Bible Church). The building was impressive, with a large library, a fireside room, a beautiful children's section, and so on. Part of me was slightly skeptical because sometimes churches - especially big ones with appealing "attractions" - seem like the service is more of a performance than a real worship time. Thankfully, I was wrong. Very wrong. The man leading the service looked a lot like John Piper. They began with prayer and singing instead of announcements. I cannot begin to describe the singing time. The songs weren't all modern, nor were they all fast-paced tunes. Some were new and some were old but the message in them all was the same: we worship a good, great, and holy God who loves and cares for us and is worthy of all our adoration. 

I can't now recall the individual songs we sang but I'll never forget the experience. It didn't feel like a concert. Sure, the people up front were playing the instruments and leading the music, but it didn't feel like a show. I closed my eyes for much of the singing and I had a taste of something I'm not quite sure I've had before: I think I had a tiny taste of heaven. There were so many people around me singing like I've never heard before and it was beautiful, breathtaking, glorious, worshipful, heavenly. At times I had to stop singing because I couldn't even swallow, but I enjoyed it even more when I couldn't hear myself, but rather hundreds of people around me worshipping the Lamb. Revelation 7:9 says that one day in heaven there will be a great multitude that no one can count, people from every nation, tribe, people, and language, who will be standing before the throne and before the Lamb, worshipping him.

 Just as my fun weekend was refreshing in that I got to spend time with a dear friend, it was also refreshing because the Holy Spirit blessed me with the minutest glimpse of what heaven will be like. The Bible says we cannot even fathom how wonderful heaven will be (1 Corinthians 2:9). I'm most looking forward to eternal life because I know God will be there, and I cannot wait to see his face. I appreciate this thought by John Piper, "People who would be happy in heaven if Christ were not there, will not be there." Heaven is what we have to look forward to because it is when we get to spend eternity with the Lord of all creation, the Author and Perfecter of our faith, the God of wonders, the Lover of our soul. Many times when I've considered eternity, I've been terrified because, to be honest, it sounds a little boring. But the unique experience I had this weekend clarified for me that spending eternity in heaven with other believers worshipping the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit all day long is the most fulfilling, most wonderful, most beautiful thing I could do. I look forward to it with great anticipation!

The MET

Red & White Celebration

Happy 144th Birthday, Canada! Living only one hour from our nation's capitol, I had the privilege of celebrating Canada Day in Ottawa this year. In 2008 I went with my friend's family. We went early enough that we got to stand right in the spot on Parliament Hill where the Prime Minister and Governor General exit the vehicle and greet citizens as they make their way up the path to the stage. This year, however, was entirely different. This year, our new Royal Couple, Prince William and Catherine, were in our midst. Just weeks ago I arose early in the wee hours of the morning to watch the Royal Wedding. And today I was just a stone's throw from the same celebrated couple!

This year I attended Canada Day with the same family as before. We parked far away from downtown and rode our bikes in on the bike path. It was a lovely ride along the Ottawa River. We came up behind Parliament, locked up our bikes, and joined the merry, red-and-white throng of Canadians on Rideau. Parliament Hill had been full for hours of eager people who had camped overnight or since the early morning. We found a spot along the barricade to wait for the carriage to pass us by. We waited for over an hour and a half. The crowds pressed in closer and closer until we could hardly breathe and sweat was pouring down our backs. Everytime someone around me shuffled, I inched my way in closer and closer (I was told you have to be aggressive). Just before they were to arrive my camera announced the memory card was full. At least I'd remembered to charge the batteries! Thankfully I found another memory card in my bag - just in the nick of time. When the carriage passed by I was almost up to the barricade. Everyone was screaming and cheering. Kate was gorgeous in a cream dress and red maple leaf fascinator. After that exciting moment, we had to watch the rest of the action on the massive screen.

During the singing of Oh Canada, with nearly half a million Canadian citizens around me proudly belting out our national anthem, I was overwhelmed with patriotism and thankfulness to live in such a diverse, beautiful, peaceful, and free country. My arm was aching as I held my camera high in an attempt to capture the song but I sang along with my fellow citizens. It was indeed a special moment that I'll never forget.

We weren't able to stay for the incredible fireworks display but I did have a chance to see them last time. Fireworks are one of my favourite things in life. As is Canada Day, and wearing my annual Canada Day tattoo on my cheek. Biking back along the quiet pathway, we stopped for a rest and stuck our feet in the Ottawa River to cool ourselves off. Such a dramatic change from the bustling, overcrowded downtown core. Tonight I'll be attending the local fireworks display in my own little down. Today I am so very proud to be Canadian!

I Worship a Creative God

Sea of Galilee Sunrise, May 2010



I have always loved being out in God's creation, probably partly due to the fact that I grew up in Northern Ontario where the autumn colours are truly magnificent and partly due to our family camping trips for one month every summer when we would be away from the city and appreciating the serenity of the woods and the delight of wildlife. My family would testify to my dislike for bugs, snakes, and outhouses, but I really do love the trees, the stars, the water, the clouds, and most of the other amazing things God has placed in nature.

Living in Southern Ontario for the past five years for school, I have really missed living so close to the water and the woods. After twenty-two years on this earth, I have come to the conclusion that being on the water is where I feel most at peace. Sitting on a dock and having the gentle waves splash up against my legs or paddling a canoe with my Dad or swimming in the cold but beautiful Lake Superior is just so relaxing and tranquil. I hope that wherever I settle down in the future, I will have the blessing of living close to water, as I've realized how much it means to me. It also means a lot to me to be able to escape the city lights every so often and sit at a beach where I can focus on the stars. They shine so much brighter and more and more stars appear the longer you watch them. This reminds me of a time at Galilean Bible Camp when a few of us went down to the beach at night and sat on the rocks and looked up at the gorgeous night sky. All I could do was sing God of Wonders by Chris Tomlin: "Lord of all creation, of water, earth, and sky. The heavens are your tabernacle. Glory to the Lord on high. God of wonders, beyond our galaxy, you are holy, holy. The universe declares your majesty. You are holy, holy."

This past year has been an incredible year of growth for me. As I've learned more about God in school each day, I have come to appreciate his creation far more than I ever have before. I am more in awe of my Maker. I see his handiwork in the little things, such as inspecting the intricacy of a single flower blossom. I see his creativity in the variety of trees he has made. When I felt the sun and the warm breeze on my face this spring, I felt him near. I consider myself a creative person, so I love to marvel at the immense creativity God has displayed in designing his world. It makes me love him all the more. He could have made one type of tree, one season, one kind of flower...or no birds, no colour, no variation. Instead, God exercised his creative powers in making an incredible, complex, and beautiful world that would both delight us and bring glory to himself.



Shades Mills Conservation Area, May 2011

Yesterday a friend and I got up early and drove to a conservation area to go kayaking. She went first and I waited on the shoreline. I brought textbooks to read, but I just couldn't read them. I borrowed her Bible because as I sat there soaking up the sun and listening to the hundreds of different bird songs, it was all I could do. I needed to hear from my Creator when I was out enjoying his creation - enjoying God's Revelation while out in his creation. As I read from the Psalms (the best place to dwell on his majesty and creativity), I tried to single out some of the bird songs. And I thought, these birds aren't singing for their own sake. They're singing because that's what they were designed to do! They are singing to their Maker. How else could they be making such a lovely sound or why else would they do so?

Bird Conservation Area, Morrisburg, January 2011

They are singing sweet songs just like he created them to do, and this brings glory to God. Psalm 19 says, "The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands." They surely do! Whether it's bird songs in the morning, shifting cloud shapes in the afternoon, or glowing constellations at night, everything in the earth is doing what it was designed to do so that God will be magnified. The last Psalm in the whole book, Psalm 150, ends with, "Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Praise the Lord." That is what creation lives and breathes for everyday. Are we doing the same? Do you stand in awe of the Lord of all Creation when you are out enjoying the world he designed so creatively and sustains so mightily?

Lessons in Chemistry

 Yesterday afternoon I had the honour of attending a chemistry talk at the University of Western Ontario. My sister, a chemistry PhD student (I know, it sounds so smart), invited me to go with her, as she had thoroughly enjoyed the session from the previous day. UWO had brought in a very distinguished chemist with a list of awards that seemed to go on forever. When we arrived at the session, there was a long line of people who I thought were waiting to get inside the room, but my sister clarified that they were actually in line for the free food: drinks, cookies, and fruit and veggie trays. I suppose that's how they entice attendees!

Academic chemistry is a whole new world to me. While my sister and I are both graduate students, I spend my days writing papers about theology. She spends her hours in a crisp clean laboratory, complete with machines worth thousands (and I think perhaps even millions) of dollars. My sister, the chemist, wears a white lab coat and goggles, which I find humorous because she looks like a scientist in a movie. When I was visiting before, I loudly noted how much she looked like a "real scientist" in her get-up. Everyone else in the room just stared at me because, of course, she is a real scientist and so are they.

Before the chemistry talk, she showed me some of the experiments she is conducting at the moment. Although my sister is excellent at explaining things - the mark of a good teacher - it was still way over my head. Smile and nod. But really, it is fascinating and I am thankful that there are people in the world who can do this kind of work. If I had to be a chemist, I would get fired within the first five minutes. I almost walked into the lab with my lunch which apparently is a huge no-no. It would contaminate their samples, I suppose. The projects she is working on are so complicated I could not even begin to explain them here. My sister is a genious. She works so hard and she's so intelligent. Christina has been in the newspaper and on television, not to mention the journals in which she has had her reports published. I am so proud of her. I asked her yesterday why she chose a career in chemistry and she said it's because she loves problem solving. From the time she was young, you could often find her hunched over a new puzzle on our bedroom floor.

Christina and Bethany, Winter 2011

This is the first lesson of two that I learned yesterday. I am so thankful to God that he creates each of us to be unique! I mentioned to my sister that it's so strange how different our areas of academic interest are, considering we grew up in the same home and had similar life experiences when we were young. But God gave her a different brain than me - different abilities, skills, passions, and goals. Imagine if we all wanted to have the same profession or if we all had the exact same skills. Obviously society wouldn't run smoothly if that were the case. God is good and God is sovereign. He knows the plans he has for us. While Christina spent plenty of time playing the piano and figuring out dolphin jigsaw puzzles, God was shaping her into the chemist he wanted her to be. Of course, she is so much more than that! She is a disciple of Christ, a loving wife, an incredible mom, the world's best sister (to me...hopefully not to our brother, as I'd like to share that title), a cherished daughter, a beloved friend, and on and on it goes. I look up to her like no other.

The second lesson I learned yesterday occurred during the professor's lecture. Unfortunately, I can't even tell you what the topic was. A few words stand out: photosynthesis, respiration, hopping, proteins - along with lots of intense equations and graphs. But at a couple of points throughout his hour-long presentation in which I forced myself to stay awake (probably thanks to the yummy Starbucks hot chocolate Christina treated me to earlier), this man noted that this process in the body is life-and-death. From what I understood, respiration hardly makes sense, as our bodies should be overheating considering everything that's going on inside us. Cars overheat, appliances overheat, so why don't we? I don't have to be a scientist to tell you that! God is the omnipotent, omniscient, magnificent Creator! I absolutely love that God is so creative. I consider myself to be a creative person, so when I see his creation out in nature, I want to praise him, sing to him, love him, and worship him. And when I learn new, complicated concepts in a chemistry talk I also want to thank him for making us so wonderfully. He could have made us simple beings, but instead he uses his creative powers to form us into intricate persons and gives us the minds to study his marvelous works as well.

Tea, Scones, and the Royal Wedding

Call me crazy but I set my alarm for 4:30am this morning so I could watch the Royal Wedding of William and Kate. My friend and housemate and I went to Starbucks so we could get tea and scones. I bought an Earl Grey tea and a pumpkin scone. Then we checked and the British Bakery was open so we went in there and bought some delicious apple muffins. There was a group of middle-aged women enjoying a traditional English breakfast and watching the Royal Wedding on the flat-screen television in the bakery. I asked the young woman working there and she told me this bubbly group of hat-wearing women were waiting at the bakery doors this morning when she came to open it at 4:00am!

Courtney and I came home to sip our tea and warm up in our blankets while watching the Royal Wedding on our laptops. It was so exciting. We spoke in British accents, of course. We both had butterflies and couldn't stop smiling. We're watching history in the making! Although I'm not looking my best at 5:00am, we took a few photos of ourselves with our tea and scones so that we would always remember this momentous morning. Just think: we are only a few years younger than Kate so one day when she's as old as the Queen we will be able to tell our grandchildren about this special day. It's definitely worth waking up for! I know lots of people think it's silly and giving the Royal Family more power but it's fun and beautiful and exciting so I make no apologies.

I was pleasantly surprised at how sacred and Christ-centred the wedding ceremony was. It was an intimate ceremony and I loved how they both were trying to hold their smiles in and had a few special moments together. The Scripture reading from Romans was wonderful and it's a passage that I have memorized. The music was almost all based off Scripture, including the Psalms. The sermon was excellent and quite convicting. I pray that the Royal couple actually heard and understood the words of the priest. May their marriage last for life and be one that honours God.

The Story of Easter

The Beauty of Reconciliation

Tonight I was speaking with my big brother on the phone. I told him about some amazing things that God has been doing lately. Firstly, he has been working in my heart, making it more supple, more forgiving. We all have relationships in our life that we wish didn't have to end, particularly the way in which they did, or relationships that we wish could be released of all tension, bitterness, and regret. There have been a few people that I have been close to in the past with whom I have parted ways. It was sad and painful. Relationships bring so much joy to life, so when they break down, it brings sadness and regret. God gave us relationships as a gift but we have abused his great gift.

With what God has been teaching me lately, there were a few people with whom I was hoping to reconcile. But I wasn't sure if I should contact them or not because my apology would probably seem very intrusive and unwelcome. God has just blown me away with what he cooked up. Several individuals with whom things did not end well have all approached me in the past couple of months. Wow! Clearly God is working on more hearts than just mine. Of course he is, Maria! Only God could have changed each of our hearts. Apologies were given and accepted. Forgiveness was offered and received. Reconiliation is a beautiful thing.

I told my brother that reconciliation has got to be one of the most beautiful things on planet earth. He wisely responded with, "It is the most beautiful thing, Maria. That's what God is all about and that's what he's done for us." You are so right, Joshua. The story told in the Bible is one of reconciliation, one of forgiveness, hope, love, restoration, sacrifice, relationship. In the beginning, God created us in his image. We rebelled. We ruined the perfect relationship we had with the Creator. But he had a plan to restore the relationship. Despite our self-serving, obnoxious, sinful ways, God wanted us back. He wanted us to be reconciled to him. God sent his beloved, perfect son, Jesus Christ. Jesus, who was both fully God and fully human, came to earth to save the very people who had turned their backs on God. Jesus spent three years teaching people about God and his kingdom. Then we accused him and crucified him. But that's what he came for. It was all part of the plan. He gave his life up willingly. He wanted to do God's will. Jesus then conquered death by rising from the dead. And that is what allows us to be reconciled with God.

Since we rebelled against God, there was no way we could do anything to fix the broken relationship. But God sent Jesus to be the mediator. Because he was fully God, Jesus was able to represent God and because he was fully human, he was able to represent us. A winning combination. When Jesus died on the cross, he took on all of the sin and rebellion that every single person has ever done or will do. By this, he paid the penalty to God, the Judge of the universe. If we accept Jesus as our Saviour and our Lord and have faith in him, our relationship with God is restored. We are reconciled to our Father in heaven. He forgives us. He's always loved us but we can truly love him too. That's the history of humankind. Reconciliation is indeed the most beautiful thing because that is what God's plan is all about. He created us. We rebelled. He wants us back. He made a way. We can be reconciled to him if we believe in his Son. The beauty of the relationships that have recently been reconciled in my own life are only a taste of the beautiful reconciliation that we can have with God.

Why Did I Really Cut My Hair?

Me, age 3

For the majority of my life I've had long hair - minus the first several years when I was pretty much bald and then grew some Shirley Temple curls. I love long hair. It's pretty. I love braiding my hair. I'm not one who spends time on my hair each day, straightening, curling, or styling it, although I do from time to time for special occasions. I love playing with my hair and being able to tie it back when it's hot.

But a few weeks ago the idea popped into my head to get my hair cut. I used a fun web site called Taaz to "try on" different hair styles. A few of the shorter styles didn't look too bad. Then another idea came to me: was my hair long enough to donate to cancer? Most organizations only take 10"+ but Pantene Beautiful Lengths accepts 8" ponytails. I awkwardly measured my hair with a ruler and realized that 8" off would leave me with about chin to shoulder-length hair.

Winter 2011

Donating to cancer? Check. Fun new hairstyle? Yep. But the real reason that I chose to cut my hair is this: I believe that my identity was too much caught up in my long hair rather than where it should be, in Christ. Now don't take this the wrong way. There is nothing wrong with long hair at all! I think the Holy Spirit put this on my heart, perhaps as a test of obedience. I struggled with it so much. I agonized over this decision for about a week. I know, it's just hair, right? But I loved my long hair so much that this was an extremely difficult decision. I kept going back and forth on what I was going to do. I booked the hair appointment and planned to go with my best friend after class one day. I prayed a lot about what I should do.

Just after the chop

I followed Pantene's directions and gathered a Ziploc bag, hair elastic, and envelope to take to the hair salon. When I arrived at the hairdresser, I still wasn't sure what my final decision would be. My hairdresser understood my anxiousness and let me have a few minutes to think and talk it over with my friend. Finally, I realized that this is what God wants me to do. My lower lip trembled as she snip, snip, snipped my ponytail off. But once she began to style it I liked it.

When I look at photographs of my long hair, I still miss it a bit. But hair grows. I am learning new ways to do my short hair. I've received loads of compliments, but there's always people who think speaking their mind is beneficial. They may think it's unattractive or I'm being self-righteous or legalistic. This hurt my feelings but my mom reminded me that this is between me and the Lord. However, I know I've been obedient to my Father. I was so concerned about feeling ugly but God continually reminds me that I am his and he is mine. When I run my fingers through my hair - and it suddenly stops short - I feel a pang of sadness, but it is overwhelmed by my joy that I chose to follow God in this small way.

Mailing off my hair

Earlier this week I handed in my last hermeneutics paper. I chose to write about 1 Peter 3:1-7. Here it says, "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as the braiding of hair and the wearing of gold jewellery and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight" (vv. 3-4). It's not just braided hair, gold earrings, or fashionable clothes. Wherever we find our identity that isn't in Christ is misled. It could be makeup, a career, a romantic relationship, IQ, anything! This is my desire: to be a woman of unfading beauty in the eyes of God and of those around me.

Benjamin Isaac

My oldest nephew's name is Benjamin Isaac Scorgie. He just turned seven on March 24th. As far as I can recall, this is his first birthday that I haven't been there to celebrate with him. He was born when I was in high school but we often came down to Southern Ontario to visit my brother and his family on the March Break, so we were around for his birthday. Then for the past four years I was living nearby attending university. For his third birthday we had a bunch of kids over. It was madness, I tell you! Three-year-olds just do not understand that the gift they bring for the birthday boy is not theirs to keep. Last year for Ben's birthday we had a good old fashioned campfire in their backyard.

Auntie Maria & Benjamin, Fall 2010

This year, however, I wasn't there to celebrate his life on the special day. You see, my brother and his family moved to Manitoba this past fall. I am so very happy for them that they are where God wants them to be, but I do miss them a lot, especially my boys, Benjamin and Ezra. I haven't been the greatest at keeping in contact with them, but I didn't want Ben to think I had forgotten about his 7th birthday. So I made a video with my webcam for him, decorated a homemade birthday card, printed a photo of him and me together, and sent him an e-card. Today I got to talk to him on the phone. It was pure delight.

He's just started taking piano lessons. He played "God Is So Good" and then "Jesus Loves Me." Then he came on the phone and talked my ear off. It was wonderful :) He told me all about the fort that he and Ezra are building in the yard out of wood, bricks, sticks, and other random materials. Sounds awesome! I wish I could see it. He was just so expressive and I loved hearing him excited about life. He told me he is SOOOOO excited about our family reunion in Edmonton this August. I think it will be the highlight of his summer and of mine. He told me he's saving his allowance money for the trip, giving up buying hockey stickers now so he can save. I told him I'm saving up too.

Benjamin them proceeded to warm my heart by telling me that he, and I quote, "Really, really, really, really, REALLY, REALLY" wants me to come visit them. He said he'd give me a tour of their small town. I said I think he'd make an awesome tour guide. I can't wait to see this precious nephew of mine soon. I thank God for him and I'm committed to praying for him. I take my role of Auntie seriously. Benjamin is so easy to love and talk to. He's growing up so quickly, but I remember holding him when he was only a couple of days old. Now he's using big words, typing emails, riding his bike around town, and losing teeth. Benjamin Isaac, I love you!

Seminary Adventure

It has been nearly a year since I wrote my last blog post. Shame on me. However, I have certainly been doing enough writing lately! For the past eight months I have been attending Heritage Theological Seminary in Cambridge, Ontario. After finishing my Honours Bachelor of Arts in Communication Studies from Wilfrid Laurier University in Waterloo, Ontario, God guided me into the next brief stage of my life: attending Seminary! I was quite looking forward to higher education where I could learn more about my faith, the most important aspect of my life. University was an incredible time of growth for me, but what I learned in the classroom from the typical atheistic professor was not applicable to my relationship with God. My hope was that Seminary would teach me more about God and the Bible.

And it has certainly done that! On my first day of class, I walked into the classroom with my white and pink backpack and pulled out my purple pencil case full of colourful highlighters, pens, and Post-It notes. I set my Tupperware container of Teddy Grahams or Goldfish Crackers (I forget now which it was as both are favourite snacks of mine) on the table so I would have a snack to keep me alert during the three hour class. I was mortified when the professor asked us to go around and say our name, where we were from, and...our favourite theologian! What is that? I had spent the past four years reading Communications articles and textbooks. The most Christian reading I did was historical fiction and missionary biographies during the summer. I sheepishly said I didn't have one but that I'd just finished the fascinating book, Through Gates of Splendour, by Elisabeth Elliot. As if that wasn't enough, he then informed us that we were going to get into groups and do an exercise using our Bibles. Who ever thought of bringing a Bible to Bible school? Not I! So I had to sit there silently for the next ten minutes as the other, much older, students pored over their ESVs and NIVs.

I rushed home from class, called my mom, and cried my eyes out. Why am I here? I'm half the age of the majority of the students. The average Seminary student is a middle-aged man, married with children, returning to school to become a pastor as a second career. And I was a 21-year-old who still found delight in my Goldfish-shaped plastic snack container. Mom wisely advised me to persevere. I did.

It would probably take me weeks to express in writing all of the marvelous things that I have learned this past year. For instance, in Biblical Introduction, we were required to read the ENTIRE BIBLE in two months. It was insane. But oh so worth it! To be honest, I did have to skip over some of the Minor Prophets, but the rest of the Bible I did, in fact, read. Wow. I see the Holy Scriptures in a whole new light now. God is great. God is good. God is sovereign. God is creative. God is holy. God is merciful. God uses sinners like me to do his work. In Small Group Ministry, I read a great book by Joseph H. Hellerman entitled, When the Church Was a Family. Now I long for the Church today to be what it was always meant to be: a family. A body of believers with Christ as the Head. By far my favourite book of the year was Christian Theology by Millard J. Erickson. It's a whopping 1312 pages. But through this book I began to understand what I believe and why I believe it. I could go on. Perhaps I shall in future posts.

The main things things that I've taken away from my Seminary education are: a love for the Scriptures, a desire to be a lifelong scholar of the Word, an awe of my Great God, a thankful heart for the absolutely incredible things I can see him doing in my life, a fascination for theology that I never dreamt I would ever have, a passion to pray, and an answer for people in my life who ask me to give them a reason for the hope that I have (1 Peter 3:15).