Why Did I Really Cut My Hair?

Me, age 3

For the majority of my life I've had long hair - minus the first several years when I was pretty much bald and then grew some Shirley Temple curls. I love long hair. It's pretty. I love braiding my hair. I'm not one who spends time on my hair each day, straightening, curling, or styling it, although I do from time to time for special occasions. I love playing with my hair and being able to tie it back when it's hot.

But a few weeks ago the idea popped into my head to get my hair cut. I used a fun web site called Taaz to "try on" different hair styles. A few of the shorter styles didn't look too bad. Then another idea came to me: was my hair long enough to donate to cancer? Most organizations only take 10"+ but Pantene Beautiful Lengths accepts 8" ponytails. I awkwardly measured my hair with a ruler and realized that 8" off would leave me with about chin to shoulder-length hair.

Winter 2011

Donating to cancer? Check. Fun new hairstyle? Yep. But the real reason that I chose to cut my hair is this: I believe that my identity was too much caught up in my long hair rather than where it should be, in Christ. Now don't take this the wrong way. There is nothing wrong with long hair at all! I think the Holy Spirit put this on my heart, perhaps as a test of obedience. I struggled with it so much. I agonized over this decision for about a week. I know, it's just hair, right? But I loved my long hair so much that this was an extremely difficult decision. I kept going back and forth on what I was going to do. I booked the hair appointment and planned to go with my best friend after class one day. I prayed a lot about what I should do.

Just after the chop

I followed Pantene's directions and gathered a Ziploc bag, hair elastic, and envelope to take to the hair salon. When I arrived at the hairdresser, I still wasn't sure what my final decision would be. My hairdresser understood my anxiousness and let me have a few minutes to think and talk it over with my friend. Finally, I realized that this is what God wants me to do. My lower lip trembled as she snip, snip, snipped my ponytail off. But once she began to style it I liked it.

When I look at photographs of my long hair, I still miss it a bit. But hair grows. I am learning new ways to do my short hair. I've received loads of compliments, but there's always people who think speaking their mind is beneficial. They may think it's unattractive or I'm being self-righteous or legalistic. This hurt my feelings but my mom reminded me that this is between me and the Lord. However, I know I've been obedient to my Father. I was so concerned about feeling ugly but God continually reminds me that I am his and he is mine. When I run my fingers through my hair - and it suddenly stops short - I feel a pang of sadness, but it is overwhelmed by my joy that I chose to follow God in this small way.

Mailing off my hair

Earlier this week I handed in my last hermeneutics paper. I chose to write about 1 Peter 3:1-7. Here it says, "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as the braiding of hair and the wearing of gold jewellery and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight" (vv. 3-4). It's not just braided hair, gold earrings, or fashionable clothes. Wherever we find our identity that isn't in Christ is misled. It could be makeup, a career, a romantic relationship, IQ, anything! This is my desire: to be a woman of unfading beauty in the eyes of God and of those around me.